Hold steady to the calm and peacefully persist.
Watch a mixed group of horses-mares, foals, and, preferably, stallions. Just watch them. Don’t interfere and stay well back.
The myth says that there’s a stallion and he runs the show. The mares do his bidding and he determines where they go and so on. The myth also says that once a stallion gets a herd of his own, it is his for the rest of his life.
Somebody lied to you. And sucker that you are to the mystique of the big bad stallion, you bought in-hook, line, and sinker. It’s not true-not a word of it.
A MARE leads the band-she’s the wise one-and she’ll tell the stallions which mare to breed and when, where the band will graze, when they will go to water, and where safety lies. If said stallion sufficiently gets into her bad side, she’ll run him off and find a new one. By the same token, if some young brat comes up and picks on her favorite, she’ll go deliver a few good kicks herself. But SHE runs things-and you know what they say about if Mama ain’t happy?!
The crazy thing is-the bands are not carved in stone. They’ll mix and mingle-then split apart again with different individuals added and subtracted. The young stallions generally are pushed to outside and will band together as young males of all species will do to tussle and rough house. In essence, they’re told to go grow up some more. The fillies are in with the older mares to learn the ways of the herd.
Unlike humans, it is the mares who determine the success of the bands-not the stallions. The stallions may bluster and bully, but they do not control the fate of anything. Now I know you may see the ‘stealing’ of a mare or the ‘snake neck’ driving postures of a stallion, but believe me, if the mares didn’t want to go, they wouldn’t. If you don’t believe me, watch the video on YouTube of the mare defending herself and her newborn against 5 or 6 young stallions. She says ‘no thanks’ and enforces it. The boys come away with nothing.
Contrast this to human cultures. Where women are either in control or at least equal in value to men, the society is peaceful both inside and in its relationships externally. Historically, this has always been true. During the reigns of Queen Elizabeth of England, Queen Isabella of Portugal, and Queen Cleopatra of Eqypt to name but three, their countries flourished, exploration was encouraged, and alliances of all kinds were made. Their vision and courage to seek change and challenge the norms of the day were in direct contrast to the advice of their male advisors. Like the mares, they chose the males in their circles and would drive out the ones who displeased them. They were also unafraid to pitch the males against one another-much like the stallion bands.
A little estrogen in leadership is not a bad thing.
Another observation is that, as most of us willingly admit, women supply most of the organization, planning, labor, communications, supply, and execution of 96% of anything real done in any committee, group, church, non-profit, company, corporation, or government agency anywhere. We simply have been trained not to take the credit for our work-the men usurp that from us. It is high time that stopped. If you don’t do the work, you shouldn’t get the credit. It really is that simple. Perhaps we human mares need to learn to do a few double barrelled hind leg kicks-or at least the threat of them-to teach some of these “p***** grabbing’ men a little respect. Possession of a large credit limit should have nothing what so ever to do with respect for a female’s person. (I’ve never seen a mare yet that inquired about a stallion’s pedigree or barn of residence. I have seen them require being treated with extreme care and deference-to the point that we have joked that one wanted diamonds, champagne, caviar, and a Rolls limo before she would give in!)
Humans have, over the centuries, learned to become worshippers of the warriors and predator mindset. In doing that, we’ve lost a great deal in being able to know ourselves and those who love us, live with us, and work with us. I find that incredibly sad.
But-and this is important-horses can bring this back to us. They have always held this wisdom. They use it every day in their interactions with each other, with humans, and with other species. All we have to do-incredibly enough-is open our eyes, ears, and minds to learn.
How is this possible?
Watch how a mare teaches her foal. She’ll nudge the baby towards her udder. But in a couple of weeks, after the baby has learned to nurse and found out that bumping her hard and pulling hard will make the milk come down faster, she’ll object if the baby bites and hurts her. She’ll nip it in the rear quickly-but if the baby does it again, she may deliver a fast cow kick AND a nip to the butt plus a total refusal to allow junior access to the diary bar. There’s no loud “boo-yah”, fist pump, or anything else. It’s quick, quiet, and Junior is just left standing some distance away from mom wondering what the heck just happened. The lesson? Treat me right or you don’t get what you want-and you get left socially isolated. Not fun-but it is surely effective.
Likewise, as young horses mature, they interact with each other and adult horses learning to find their own place within a herd’s hierarchy. A ear position, the gesture of the head and neck, the whipping of the tail or a tail held high or in a clamped position, rearing, striking, a single or a double hind leg kick-all of these translate to messages that horses use to convey emotions, warnings, and information. They are masters of reading body language. Not just equine body language-but that of their entire environment-which includes that of other animals, both prey and predators (including humans). In fact-they are ‘hard-wired’ for the job then trained by their dams and herd mates into black belt masters. Even the dullest is good at it. We are the dullards.
We’ve all seen the rodeo bronc rider-and we may have ridden a few bucks in our days of riding. I know I have-none as seriously into as a rodeo horse, but definitely intended to deposit my fanny somewhere other than where it was at the time. Only one consistently successful was a Shetland pony mare who, as it happened, foaled the next day. No one had a clue. But she could buck!
Most of us are pretty much of the persuasion (or at least I hope we are) that the old grab a wild one out of the corral, rope him, throw a saddle on him, and climb up with the objective of riding the bucks out of the horse ‘eventually’ is at best ineffective, hard on both man and horse, and makes for a horse that is never totally reliable. Any time you train with force and fear you can never truly trust that the training will hold when you need it the most.
But it was fast-or so they thought at the time. We now know that if you take enough time to start with that it will take less time in the long run. I know for a fact it sure does save a lot of wear and tear on both human and horse.
But if you don’t do it that way, do you do it this way? Do you use all the straps, bits, lines, and gimmicks? Don’t get me wrong-I’ve got a few in my barn. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. What I can tell you now-after 50 years of study, experimentation, and a lot of thought-is this-most of this stuff is pretty damn near useless and is humans trying to find a way to shortcut their way into doing things correctly. Bottom line-if you aren’t getting the result that you want, you aren’t asking the horse the correct question. It is not the horse that is wrong-it’s you. And it nearly knocked me on my fat fanny when I realized that.
Which brings me to this-why are we still requiring dressage competitors to use double bridles, spurs, and a dressage whip, when you can get the exact same frame as Xenophon’s horse without a bridle or a saddle? Dressage should be about the communication between horse and rider, shouldn’t it? In its purest form, you should not need anything. What do you see with this horse? Face is vertical, fully collected, round and beautiful sitting trot. Isn’t this what we are really after?
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This seems to be out of fashion these days-which is why I seem to be totally out of sync with the rest of the world-or at least at good bit of what I see on the news and internet. It’s very much the sentiment that you see expressed on the T-shirts saying “The more I see of people, the more I love my_____”. Fill in the blank with the animal of your choice.
The rationale is actually pretty simple-people tend to have agendas and act pretty crappy towards each other. One of the leading political candidates has a book out that tells people to ‘f__’ over the other guy before he gets the chance to ‘f___’ over you-and he is lauded for that view point. I can’t stand it-and won’t stand for it. It is diametrically opposed to what I was raised to believe that the Bible said-“Do to others what you want them to do to you”. It doesn’t say be nice only if you like them, only if they are the same political party, only if they come from the same geographical piece of land mass, only if they speak the same language, only if their skin looks similar to mine, or even if they happen to worship the same way I choose to. It does not have any options. It says “Do to others as you want others to do to you. “. That’s pretty simple, really, and damn clear.
So why do so many people want to put their own exceptions on it? Hell if I know.
Yeshua only had two commandments for us to follow-not ten. #1 You will love the Lord God with all your heart and soul. #2 You will love you neighbor as much or more than you do yourself.
So how in the name of all that is holy can people do what they do to other people, women, children, animals-and still say that they are believers? You do not treat other people as garbage, you respect their dignity, you treat their wounds, feed their bodies, and shelter them when necessary. If you do not understand their culture-then you make the effort to learn about it. You extend kindness. You show compassion.
Because to do anything otherwise-is less than being human.